I'm A Big Fat Baby... Feed Me Candy.

FACT: When Kailee gets frustrated, I talk with my hands, I cry, I pace, I fixate on the dumbest... shit. Shit. It's what it is. Plain and simple. Painting projects can cause me to have mini meltdowns, especially when I'm up against a deadline. Case and point... I wrote this post about 3 years ago. I remember the situation, I remember the art show I was working on, and I remember my breaking point. Sometimes, when talking isn't enough - I write. Clearly venting in this manner helped appease my disgruntled little mind, because I never posted it. The beauty of THAT is, I didn't need to. Writing it out was enough. So, why am I posting it now? Because. Whether you're a painter, a sewer, a model car enthusiast, an avid musician, an OCD coffee cup collector, or paper clip organizer - we ALL get frustrated. We ALL percolate with emotions, and at some point or another - we ALL boil over. I just found this vent of mine to be particularly amusing, because - I got over it. It seems so silly 3 years down the road. Now, it's just a distant memory in a not so far off point in my life that I overcame. With grace? Not likely. Diginity? Sure, a teeny bit. With awesomeness? Youuuuuu bet!

P.S. That art show KICKED SERIOUS DONKEY. I was so proud of myself for accomplishing such a monumental feat, and my entire family was there to support me to boot. You rock family. 

In the end, the tears, the stress, and the sleepless nights all paid off. Go ahead, read it. I dare ya. I double dog dare ya!

Sometimes, I go through what I like to call a "mid-art crisis." It's not pretty, especially if your my mama and its a midnight venting sesh over a cup of her famous stovetop coffee. Someway, somehow - mama talks and some excellent Joe just melt your troubles away...

Take for instance, this moment, right here - I have three paintings in my living room that I'm working on simultaneously and they are frustrating me to no end. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is working out the way it should. Its causing me great distress.  So much so that I'm to the point where I'm literally afraid to start another painting. I'm trying to whip out some fabulous new paintings for this oh so stellar show next month and I am fa-reaking out. I've had months to get ready but I feel strapped for time, energy, and my patience is zero. Not to mention the fact that I work at the pace of a teeny tiny creepy slime slugging gastropod (snail) is very impeding.

Which leads to that next awful thought... maybe they just aren't that good. Self-doubt is the worst kind of mental attack. Every artist doubts themselves and the technical skill of their work. We truly are our own worst critic. We concern ourselves way too much with what we think of our work rather than if others like it. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but even in a market where we are suppose to create something that appeals to a broad audience, we honestly think our opinion has the most validity. If we think it sucks, then you think it sucks and you telling us otherwise is just a covert way of dancing around the universal truth that is staring us both in the eye: "canvas suckery and a total waste of paint."

In cases like this, I find the most appropriate remedy is to simply step off. Put down the paint filled paint brush, loosen my grip and step away from the canvas before frustration gets the best of me and I lash out at the last 20 hours worth of work. Sometimes ignoring something really does make the problem go away, at least in an artist's world. I need to leave things be and let them breathe. However, knowing this and doing this are not always easy... I find skipping town for no good reason to be beneficial... so, spontaneous Holiday anyone?

Too funny right? I certainly thought so. I was on a total pity party. Boo hoo! Plus, I really needed a vacation. I suppose my great words of advice are...

"Suck it up buttercup, life goes on"

....and ON it did. To bigger, better, and even more amazing opportunities, and it will continue to do so. Life is an ever evolving door. I'm sure I'll have many many more of these ^^ moments (some more recent than I care to admit... wah wah wah). Ehh.... So, the next time you find yourself stressed out, frustrated, angry, crying, and grinding your teeth over God knows what.... just keep in mind - you'll get through it, you'll get over it, and you'll come out shining brighter.... and definitely hungrier.  I sure could go for a Reese's right about now. Om nom nom!

Cheerio!