Keeping with the beat of my last post about irrational fears... here's an odd little tidbit into not really understanding what makes me tick... to be honest, I don't even know.
My mother always told me that my fear of the ocean has always been a strange one. She explained it to me as having an extreme fascination with it and yet being very frightened of it. One of my favorite stories that she used to tell me about being a wee one was the story of how I died in my past life.
Mama-san had read somewhere that if you ask your child (around the time they start to speak) what they did in their past life, that they will straight up tell you. Well, mama asked and I gave it to her straight - "I was totally eaten by a blue whale mom." I may or may not have added some flair to that statement...
She kind of laughed it off for a bit thinking that I was talking about a cartoon blue whale (that or she thought I was cray-zay) and not really registering with the fact that there is an actual blue whale. She asked me a couple more times, and my story stayed the same: I was eaten by a blue whale. It wasn't until I was watching Pinocchio that my words kind of sunk in for her. According to her account of that fateful viewing, wee Kailee terror ensued. It was my first time watching it and I was doing great, loving it in fact, that is right up until the moment that stupid wooden puppet and his gramp-father got themselves stuck out in the middle of the ocean on a life raft. Apparently when those two animated idiots got eaten by that P.O.'d whale, baby Kailee fa-reaked out. I was just screaming and crying, so she shut it off and I never watched it again... until I was older of course. I still don't really like it all that much, but more because the idea of a puppet coming to life just creeps me out.
So, I was eaten by a whale in my last life. There you have it. That's the truth as it has been foretold by me - the mini me. Its funny that the unlikelih
ood of getting eaten by a salt-water inhabiting fish in Montana, the land of no ocean, is enough to keep a grown woman of out of the water. Imagine what 6ft of panic attack would look like if faced with the actual ocean... I shudder at the thought.
Now, I don't have a problem with whales as much as I have a problem with sharks. However, even though they may scare the bejeezus out of me, I actually have a favorite... that's right, I have a favorite shark. I am all at once deathly afraid and oddly fascinated by them. Its all tied into my fearscination with the ocean. New word alert!
Fearscination: to be at one moment both fearful and fascinated; thrown into or being in a state of frightful awe; fearfully flabbergasted
Kailee invented, mother approved. Boom.
My absolute favorite sea beast is the mighty Hammerhead Shark, or Sphyrnidae Sphyrna for my nerdy peeps. Talk about one ug-ly fish. I think that's what I find so appealing... their ugliness. I've always had a soft spot for things most people find undesirable. The uglier the better. If I see something that I initially think is ugly and I say I hate it out loud, within a 6 month time period I'm usually hating myself for loving it...
I learned a few interesting facts about Monsieur Hammey here while doing research for a few paintings I'm working on. That's right, hammerhead inspired art! You were probably wondering how I was going to bring this thing full circle so it related to art... win.
The Hammerhead is a solitary species, rarely seen with other sharks. Kind of like an artist, no? Tell me that you don't have to be somewhat of a loner to do the things an artist does. The hammerhead is the loner artist of the sea! Although certain species of Hammerheads, the Scalloped and Smooth hammey heads, like to get their social on and migrate in schools. I'd have to compare myself to one of the more sociable flat heads, and it is most definitely the Smooth. Cause I'm smooth like butta yo'.
Images like this one are a-mazing to me... and primarily what inspired my latest workings on.
These things can get to be humongous. They've been measured up to 20 ft long... imagine facing that times a 100+ of these carnivorous sea beasts. Gross.
Cheerio!
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